Jesus was Jewish, right? Then how come his mother was a Catholic? I mean, she was born Jewish, and she had a bunch of Jewish boys (you can look it up) and she was kind of pushy about her oldest son's career (John 2), but how come on Good Friday she so quickly turned Catholic and became the BVM?
We were never able to turn her Protestant. We did it with St. Paul, we made him a Lutheran. J. S. Bach tried to convert her with his Magnificat, but she made him write it in Latin, not German, and she only politely applauded.
Bernstein made her Puerto Rican, and there's no Pentecostals in West Side Story. But at least he gave her back some real sexuality. Maybe someone could write music for the Magnificat that sounds like "I Feel Pretty." Only, in the gospels it's not about pretty, even though she's like a handmaiden in the palace kitchen that the king has taken notice of.
I wouldn't make her Protestant, but I would make her Jewish again. I'd put her in Midwood, on Avenue P, and have her fiance come from Borough Park. I would give her hair like Carole King, and her nose, and her voice. I want her to sing the Magnificat like, "I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet." You go girl.